Cody, My Hero

Cody my hero humor funny life lifestyle short story Rebekah Koontz.png

I don’t Black Friday shop. Being five-foot-two, I have never had the desire to be trampled into a human pancake, black heel imprints on my forehead.

I work hard to clear up the skin on my forehead. I don’t want footprints on it. Acne products are expensive, man.

However, Friday (yes, The Friday, Black Friday, the big kahoona), giddy from getting my hair done, I waltzed to my nearest Best Buy, blissfully unaware of the ugly shopper’s flurry that surrounded me.

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Mission: [PACKAGE RETRIEVAL]

mission pacakge retrieval

The mailman did something DESPICABLE…

He left my package on the front porch.

Thoughts From The Bathroom

thoughts from the bathroom humor post

I get my best brainstorming done in the bathroom—from my reign on the porcelain throne, if you will.

I am convinced this is normal. Everyone else is just too ashamed to admit it.

I don’t know why. It’s not like admitting a failed remembrance of the socially demanded hand washing ritual; a story to which, at parties, you are repeatedly forced to wail, ‘that was ONE time!’