How To Attract Guys

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I wanted a Subway sandwich.

I was out shopping with my mom. The adrenaline that comes from wildly spending money, mixed with perseverance to find a bag that looked like a Givenchy Antigona without the cost, left me famished.

We found ourselves in the mall.

“Do you want Subway?” I asked, stepping into the line.

I’ll be honest. My mother had no choice. My stomach lead my heart, and my heart led my feet, and my feet led me to Subway. It was basically the plot line of every romance novel ever written.

How To Get Over Heartbreak

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It’s sad when things end.

An empty box of Cheez-Its. The last episode of your favorite vampire-romance TV show. The conclusion of love month. The end of a relationship.

We mourn and cry and remember the good times we had. But no amount of tears will bring back those precious cheesy-salty-crackery moments you had together. You can’t relive the awestruck shock over your TV love’s heroic sacrifice. You can’t go back in time. Soon, you’ll have to move on.

My Valentine’s Day 2017

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My two greatest fears on this earth are deep waters and heights.

Generally, people will listen to these declarations and sympathize. She’s had a bad pool experience as a child, they think. Or, she’s 5’2 and used to being close to the ground.

Never have I met someone who took these facts as a challenge. It should’ve set me on high alert when he turned to me and said, “exactly how scared of heights are you?”

Love, An Uncontrollable Bodily Function

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My home church has decided to embrace February with X’s and O’s. They have, cringingly, declared it Love Month, a phrase they proclaim with sentiment in their hearts and a sigh in their voice.

When I first heard the term Love Month, my stomach lurched for a bucket, a feeling—I realized—quite similar to love: an uncontrollable bodily function, repulsive to the people around me. Sounds about right.

I hope you’re not eating as you read this, because we’re going to talk about love. Got your bucket handy?

How To Ruin A First Date

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Sweaty palms growing sweatier at the thought, what if he/she tries to hold my hand? Hair won’t lay right. Shoes that always turn into a mistake. Do we go dutch? What if it’s a disaster? How do I let him/her down easily?

Yes, my little minions apprentices.

Today, we’re talking about first dates. More importantly, how to ruin them. Whether this is your intention (you may be locked in a bathroom stall, clutching your phone and reading this list, desperate for ideas on how to get out of this mess) or prevention (date is going really well so you’re locked in a bathroom stall, clutching your phone and reading this list, desperate for a reminder of what not to do) it is all up to you. I now give you this list. But remember: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.

7 Ways to Approach Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is almost upon us, and it’s possible that you don’t know what to do with this information.

Should you cry? Should you panic? Should you go out, buy a puppy, put a big red bow on it and stage a massive “OH MY GOSH. Look what my BOYFRIEND got me for VALENTINE’S DAY!” performance in the middle of the park.

You can wear a red dress. The couples on their little romantic dates will turn and applaud and tell you what a lucky girl you are.

Or, you can pick one of these seven different ways to approach Valentine’s Day.

Calling Him Caitlyn

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I’m about to become very unpopular.

I’ve thought about writing this post but attempted to brush away the idea. I couldn’t.

I have something that needs to be said. I’m just struggling to find the words and the right tone.

Here goes.

What Easter Means To Me

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Easter is a fun, colorful holiday of easter egg hunts, and candy (which I love), and cute little girls tripping around in fluffy floral dresses and white shoes.

As if it couldn’t get better, Easter means even more to me.

It’s a sign of hope, and a reminder that what I believe transcends all other beliefs as true. You’ve read my God’s Not Dead post, you’ll know I don’t speak theological whatchamacallits. I’m a regular girl. This is my simple yet powerful belief, and it’s true.

How To Love Your Glasses

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“Four-eyes” is a saying of the past. It’s time to embrace your glasses as the wonderful tools they are. Read on. At the end, you might just owe your glasses a formal apology for all the mean things you’ve said.
[WARNING: Even if you don’t wear glasses, you’ll be tempted to go out and by a fake pair after reading this article.]

Friendship

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Friendships are so important and so special. I, for one, will always be looking for the Ethel to my Lucy. Who doesn’t want a friendship like theirs?

This Monday, my Bible study focused on Ruth.

If you don’t know the story, there was this woman, Naomi, who moved with her husband and two sons to the city of Moab. Soon, her sons married, one to a woman named Orpah and one to a woman named Ruth. Then, Naomi’s husband died. Then, Naomi’s sons, Orpah and Ruth’s husbands, also died, leaving the three women alone.

Naomi was bitter and angry and sad and felt like God was against her. She told Ruth and Orpah to leave her, go home, and go find new husbands. Orpah listened to Naomi, hugged and kissed her goodbye, cried, and went on her way, but Ruth refused.