How To Get Over Heartbreak

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It’s sad when things end.

An empty box of Cheez-Its. The last episode of your favorite vampire-romance TV show. The conclusion of love month. The end of a relationship.

We mourn and cry and remember the good times we had. But no amount of tears will bring back those precious cheesy-salty-crackery moments you had together. You can’t relive the awestruck shock over your TV love’s heroic sacrifice. You can’t go back in time. Soon, you’ll have to move on.

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My Valentine’s Day 2017

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My two greatest fears on this earth are deep waters and heights.

Generally, people will listen to these declarations and sympathize. She’s had a bad pool experience as a child, they think. Or, she’s 5’2 and used to being close to the ground.

Never have I met someone who took these facts as a challenge. It should’ve set me on high alert when he turned to me and said, “exactly how scared of heights are you?”

Love, An Uncontrollable Bodily Function

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My home church has decided to embrace February with X’s and O’s. They have, cringingly, declared it Love Month, a phrase they proclaim with sentiment in their hearts and a sigh in their voice.

When I first heard the term Love Month, my stomach lurched for a bucket, a feeling—I realized—quite similar to love: an uncontrollable bodily function, repulsive to the people around me. Sounds about right.

I hope you’re not eating as you read this, because we’re going to talk about love. Got your bucket handy?