The Night My Mom Went Missing (Part 1)

I’ve been in the market for a car. I looked into Kia Souls, but they didn’t feel right. I knew I’d find the right car for me because it would just feel right.

It was midnight on a Saturday and I couldn’t sleep. For kicks, I Googled “used Nissan Juke for sale.”

And I found it. My dream car. It was perfect. It was white. It had all the tech (bluetooth, moonroof, push start). It looked brand new.

It was also in L.A. (1.5 hours away, no traffic). But I was willing to make the trek! Willing to take the chance!

All I needed to do was convince my mother to come with me. . . And I did.

Balboa Island In A Storm

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For Bryce and my anniversary this year, we took the town by storm.

Literally, there was a freak storm.

But it didn’t keep us from enjoying our weekend. We packed the car, threw on some extra layers, ran to Walmart (because neither of us owned an umbrella), and headed out to Balboa Island for a beautiful day of quirky shops and beachfront views.

Neither of us had ever been there, so my parents gave me the lowdown of where to take Bryce for dinner and ice cream and what places to see.

Of course, I brought my camera.

My Phone Was Stolen . . . And You’d Never Guess Who Did It #ThePerfectCrime

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It was a regular Sunday afternoon. I was in church.

CHURCH, MIND YOU. CHURCH! GOD’S HOUSE.

It was after choir practice and I was helping put music away. I had my precious, immaculate, white, brand-new iPhone XR in my hand. I placed it on a bench, along with my music folder, and turned away briefly to kneel down and grab a stack of music off the floor.

When I turned back, it was gone.

What Do I Do With My Hands?! — Vlogmas 2018, Week #2

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Am I Turning Into A Neat Freak? ðŸ˜±

Am I Turning Into A Neat Freak humor messy slob Rebekah Koontz funny born this wayAll my life, I have been a hot slob. It’s who I am. It’s the way I’m comfortable. I tried to hide it but what was the use?

I was born this way. 

My coming out was hardest on my mother, poor thing. She made comments like, you’ll grow out of it. I’m not too worried. Just wait until you have a place of your own. 

While under my parents’ roof, I abode by their rules. I lived as closely to my natural lifestyle as possible without encroaching on their especially high standards of living. I didn’t want to embarrass them. I just wanted to be me.

Daisy Must Die — “The Great Gatsby” Movie Review

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I am incensed, enraged. I am what the kids would call shook.

Nay.

I am more than incensed. I am murderous, toward a fictional character.

I just watched—for the first time—the movie The Great Gatsby.

I’m Not Allowed In Costco

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Over the course of this year, I have tried and signed up for many a new thing, all on the journey to become—what I refer to as—”a real adult grown up human person.”

Wifi bills. Accounting apps. Dental insurance.

And getting my own Costco card.

Oh yeah. I went out and dun’it. Got my photo taken and everything.

Stupid black-and-white photo on the back of that card makes me look like a smiling, psychopathic serial killer. But whatever.

10 Signs You Are Legitimately A Short Person

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I am not what they would call a tall drink of water. I’m more of a … shot glass.

5’2. Tiny feet. Loud voice. You know, the typical symptoms of nearing-dwarfism.

I’d be Grumpy.

If you didn’t know, here are seven signs that you are legitimately a short person. If you have all of these, drag up a step-stool and join the club, friend!

Apartment #100 — I Moved Out!

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Big news, people. BIG. NEWS.

No I’m not engaged.

And if you thought “pregnant,” wash your mouth out with soap. And rubbing alcohol. And then soap again…

I moved out of my parents’ house!

Am I Afraid?

For the past six months, I have had an illness—blessedly not contagious—called writer’s block. But just now, as I so begrudgingly drug my butt into the prophetic Writer’s Seat, I realized something.

I don’t have writer’s block.

I am afraid.