Am I Turning Into A Neat Freak? 😱

Am I Turning Into A Neat Freak humor messy slob Rebekah Koontz funny born this wayAll my life, I have been a hot slob. It’s who I am. It’s the way I’m comfortable. I tried to hide it but what was the use?

I was born this way. 

My coming out was hardest on my mother, poor thing. She made comments like, you’ll grow out of it. I’m not too worried. Just wait until you have a place of your own. 

While under my parents’ roof, I abode by their rules. I lived as closely to my natural lifestyle as possible without encroaching on their especially high standards of living. I didn’t want to embarrass them. I just wanted to be me.

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I’m Not Allowed In Costco

I'm not allowed in costco rebekah koontz writer rebecca coonts counts rebekha funny humor life

Over the course of this year, I have tried and signed up for many a new thing, all on the journey to become—what I refer to as—”a real adult grown up human person.”

Wifi bills. Accounting apps. Dental insurance.

And getting my own Costco card.

Oh yeah. I went out and dun’it. Got my photo taken and everything.

Stupid black-and-white photo on the back of that card makes me look like a smiling, psychopathic serial killer. But whatever.

How I Know I’m ADD

Sometimes, I think of myself as a fairy.

A fairy is so small, it can only feel one emotion at a time. Its tiny little mind simply cannot handle more than one thought, distraction, or task. Not that it ever overloads. No. One thing pushes out the last thing, and va-va-voom, Fairy leaves a long, glittery trail of thoughts undone.

Is that where pixy dust comes from?!

Quickly, I realized my quirky little ways didn’t make me a fairy.

They made me ADD.