I Fail As An Adult

I fail as an adult humor post

I just turned 21 years old.

I’m a big girl now.

Yet, I’m constantly faced with moments when I realize I’m not adulting to maximum capacity. 

Or those times that I forget I am a functioning adult because of the long list of things I fail at doing—a list other, adultier adults accomplish on a regular day basis.

Mission: [PACKAGE RETRIEVAL]

mission pacakge retrieval

The mailman did something DESPICABLE…

He left my package on the front porch.

Liebster Award Part 2

Liebster

I have been nominated for the Liebster Award by the lovely bloggers: Beckie from Spotlight and Dani from Crystal Sparkly Dreams.

Turns out, I’ve already accepted this award, almost exactly one year ago.

But I’m not one to let a tiny hiccup like that stop me.

Thoughts From The Bathroom

thoughts from the bathroom humor post

I get my best brainstorming done in the bathroom—from my reign on the porcelain throne, if you will.

I am convinced this is normal. Everyone else is just too ashamed to admit it.

I don’t know why. It’s not like admitting a failed remembrance of the socially demanded hand washing ritual; a story to which, at parties, you are repeatedly forced to wail, ‘that was ONE time!’

Creative People Are Freaks

Creative people are freaks

I made an attempt to look presentable this morning. You wouldn’t know this because my face is red and blotchy, my glasses are sliding down my face, and sweat has replaced the “natural glow” my foundation promised on the label. I’m panting.

See, the library has three stories…

And I want the best desk. One secluded, in a cool atmosphere, by the window… I’ve passed the same fifty people, on three separate floors, approximately fifteen THOUSAND times within the past half hour. They think I’m crazy, or looking for someone. My bag weighs 75 pounds. My hair is stuck under a strap, tugging my head to one side, but I circle again. Because I’m a creative person, and if I don’t get a spot by the window, the closest I will get to a prolific thought is, “maybe I would come up with better post ideas if I was by a window…

Here are 6 ways creative people are freaks.

Saying Goodbye To My Samsung Galaxy S4

saying goodbye to samsung galaxy s4

My dress is black, so are my shoes. I crumple the tissue in my lap. So far, I haven’t needed it. So far, I’m keeping together.

I stare at the pew in front of me. I burn letters into it with my eyes. What would I spell?

It would start with an S——No. I promised myself I wouldn’t get emotional. I need to stay strong.

“And now,” the reverend says. He collects his notes in one swift, habitual, gather-and-tap motion. He barely makes a sound. “We will hear from the deceased’s close friends and family.” His eyes fall on mine. He nods, my cue to stand.

I do. The empty clop of my heels against wood floor echoes through the church. Behind the podium, I clear my throat. My notes tremble in my hands. “My Samsung Galaxy S4 was a good phone,” I begin.

I Mostly Just Want Pizza | Vlogmas #6/7

I mostly want pizza vlogmas 6 7

Happy Vlogmas, Internet Family!

Alas, there were some tragedies between Saturday and today. . .

*removes hat and places it over her heart* May we have a moment of silence for the lost footage.

Silence.