I’m Not Allowed In Costco

I'm not allowed in costco rebekah koontz writer rebecca coonts counts rebekha funny humor life

Over the course of this year, I have tried and signed up for many a new thing, all on the journey to become—what I refer to as—”a real adult grown up human person.”

Wifi bills. Accounting apps. Dental insurance.

And getting my own Costco card.

Oh yeah. I went out and dun’it. Got my photo taken and everything.

Stupid black-and-white photo on the back of that card makes me look like a smiling, psychopathic serial killer. But whatever.
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How I Know I’m ADD

Sometimes, I think of myself as a fairy.

A fairy is so small, it can only feel one emotion at a time. Its tiny little mind simply cannot handle more than one thought, distraction, or task. Not that it ever overloads. No. One thing pushes out the last thing, and va-va-voom, Fairy leaves a long, glittery trail of thoughts undone.

Is that where pixy dust comes from?!

Quickly, I realized my quirky little ways didn’t make me a fairy.

They made me ADD.

What It’s Like Living Alone As A 23 Year-Old

Rebekah Koontz what it's like living aone

As you undoubtedly already know because my YouTube videos are vastly popular, I’ve moved out of my parents house. We went from a family of six to five, to four, to three, until I finally flew the coup.

And now I’m all alone.

A lone wolf. A loner. A wanderer without strings, going wherever the wind takes me, responsible for no one and nothing. Also, very long-winded in her sentences.