10 Reasons Why I Won’t Hold A Baby

10 reasons why I won't hold a baby funny humor laugh

Lately (and perhaps it’s because I’ve turned 22 but), there’s a running theme in the questions I’ve received.

Rebekah, do you want kids?

I do—eventually—want kids. Little Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, and Lil… But the weird thing is: I’ve been working on this blog post. And it’s as if they knew. They sensed it. They looked into my brown eyes and saw horror, disgust, and revulsion toward those squishy little bundles of joy (referring to the child,*ahem*, not its diaper).

Anyways. Here’s 10 reasons why I won’t hold a baby.


I’m going to categorize this post under life and writing, because the same is true for both.

A couple Mondays ago, I sent this spazzy sounding tweet into the world. It went a little something like this. .

Anyway, I was stoked!

A few days before, my dad told me he got a text from one of his friends from church saying they needed a babysitter Monday and Tuesday, and can Rebekah do it? . . I’ve never babysat a day in my life. Never changed a diaper (obviously). Never even held a baby.

They said I was hired.