I’m Not Allowed In Costco

I'm not allowed in costco rebekah koontz writer rebecca coonts counts rebekha funny humor life

Over the course of this year, I have tried and signed up for many a new thing, all on the journey to become—what I refer to as—”a real adult grown up human person.”

Wifi bills. Accounting apps. Dental insurance.

And getting my own Costco card.

Oh yeah. I went out and dun’it. Got my photo taken and everything.

Stupid black-and-white photo on the back of that card makes me look like a smiling, psychopathic serial killer. But whatever.
Advertisements

How I Know I’m ADD

Sometimes, I think of myself as a fairy.

A fairy is so small, it can only feel one emotion at a time. Its tiny little mind simply cannot handle more than one thought, distraction, or task. Not that it ever overloads. No. One thing pushes out the last thing, and va-va-voom, Fairy leaves a long, glittery trail of thoughts undone.

Is that where pixy dust comes from?!

Quickly, I realized my quirky little ways didn’t make me a fairy.

They made me ADD.

10 Signs You Are Legitimately A Short Person

Rebekah Koontz Rebecca humor short people girls problems

I am not what they would call a tall drink of water. I’m more of a … shot glass.

5’2. Tiny feet. Loud voice. You know, the typical symptoms of nearing-dwarfism.

I’d be Grumpy.

If you didn’t know, here are seven signs that you are legitimately a short person. If you have all of these, drag up a step-stool and join the club, friend!