Why He Isn’t Texting You Back

Why he isn't texting you back, why isn't he texting me back, why won't he reply

Boys are annoying. This isn’t the world’s best kept secret. We all know this.

(My apologies, male readership.)

Boys are especially annoying when they’re boys we have a crush on. And boys are even MORE annoying when we: 1.) Have a crush on them, 2.) We’re texting them—and 3.) They don’t. Text. Back.

WHY boys do this—WHY they insist on “being distracted”/”doing chores”/”helping old ladies cross the street” when they could be having a fantastic conversation with miraculous, God’s-gift-to-earth creatures like you and me, is beyond my comprehension. Why, boys? WHY.

If you’ve found yourself checking, re-checking, and checking your phone again, you know what I’m talking about.


1. He lost his phone.

2. He contracted a horrible disease.

3. His phone died and he’s away from his charger.

4. He broke his texting thumb.

5. He went blind.

6. He found a puppy (puppies are distracting).

7. He stumbled across the cure for cancer (now he’s a hero. Yaye!).

8. He texted his reply to someone else.

9. He went temporarily insane.

10. He found out he’s adopted.

11. He found out he has a long lost brother.

12. No. A long lost TWIN.

13. He found out his real mom sold him for three euros.

14. He won the lottery.

15. He’s out stopping crime.

16. He’s breaking into a bank.

17. He’s busting a drug deal.

18. He’s being sworn into the CIA.

19. He ran his foot over—with his own car. *Rebekah loses control and spits with laughter*

20. He’s getting a pedicure.

21. He’s in an elevator.

22. He’s Facebook stalking you this very moment (how sweet).

23. He’s telling his mom how in love with you he is.

24. He’s broken his phone whilst performing rugged, manly activities (and now you are free to daydream visions of him doing those manly activities, possibly shirtless or dressed as Mr. Darcy. Your preference).

25. He’s performing open heart surgery, saving the life of a young mother AND her four kids. He has the steadiest hands. But unfortunately cannot reply to your text at this very moment.

So if he isn’t replying to your witty comment, deep observation, or caring question, it isn’t because you did or said anything wrong.

Mostly, it’s because he’s a clueless boy who has yet to realize the incredible wonder and privilege it is to be texting you, or it can be any of the 25 reasons listed above.

(Anyhow, as you wait for Mr. Wonderful to reply, read How To Attract Guys!)


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