Crushes. There are crushes that satisfy—dreamy glances that eventually turn into the sweet and cherished “do you like me back?” conversation. And then they tell you that they’ve loved you all along.

Dawwh. My sentimental heart, be still!

There are crushes that are forbidden—dark and dangerous, stupid, or crazy. Crushes that force you to exercise every unit of self control to keep you on the straight and narrow.

And then, there are those crushes that can never love you back.

You aren’t good enough. Or you’re too good. You have different interests. Come from different families. You’re a foot taller or a foot too short.

Or in my case, my love is a giant bowl of frozen yogurt.

And he can never love me the way I love him.

He’s sweet and creamy, and oh so cool. I wish my sense of humor could be as smooth as his. And boy is he handsome. I could stare at his face for the rest of my life.

He’s a swirl of fantastic personality and color. He’s a gentleman, and you can tell by his cheesecake bites that he loves Jesus.

He isn’t perfect. There are some holes and cracks where the dollops don’t completely match up—but I know I can fill the spaces if he lets me. I could use whipped cream.

I wish he would let me.

Oh frozen yogurt, why am I not good enough? Is it because I am a human? I can change! I can be the girl you want me to be.

Frozen yogurt, maybe YOU need to change. Why don’t you want me? I’m freaking amazing…

It’s true.

Frozen yogurt, I want to love you in my own way. I wish we weren’t so different.

Your tangy gummy worms. Your fruity purple waves. Your cappuccino chips. . . the more I get to know you the more I fall in love.

Oh how torturous to have a crush on someone who can never love you back. Yet what a thrill to feel so strongly. To feel alive with passion!

So give me a spoon, I’m going to enjoy this while it lasts.

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