Sometimes, I think of myself as a fairy.
A fairy is so small, it can only feel one emotion at a time. Its tiny little mind simply cannot handle more than one thought, distraction, or task. Not that it ever overloads. No. One thing pushes out the last thing, and va-va-voom, Fairy leaves a long, glittery trail of thoughts undone.
Is that where pixy dust comes from?!
Quickly, I realized my quirky little ways didn’t make me a fairy.
They made me ADD.
I’m never listening. Ever.
It’s horrible. Even if I’m looking straight into your pupils and watching them dilate, I’m not listening. I’m watching your pupils dilate. Or wondering if you forgot the eyeliner under the one eye or if you just rubbed it away on accident. Or I’m fantasizing about peeling a pore strip slowly off your nose because it looks like you have a gold mine on there.
I can’t sit still. And I absolutely will throw an adult tantrum if someone tells me to wait.
Don’t tell me to wait. First of all, I am an adult and I understand when I need to wait, if I do in fact need to wait. Don’t tell me to wait. And if I must wait, you cannot expect me to sit still. That’s just crazy talk.
Because, even though YOU can’t keep my attention for nothing, if I don’t get what I want, I will obsess over that one thing until the cows come home.
Everything fascinates me at the same time—and then doesn’t.
I am a puppy. Plain and simple.
I don’t finish things. I wander on and then come back like, “oh yeah.”
Sometimes, I even forget I started a task. I’ll come into a room, notice an area is partly tidied and think, “mommy?“
I honestly have the best intentions to do sweet things for other people, but then I get distracted or forget.
I fear the day when “it’s the thought that counts” becomes clichè.
I’ve had to, on multiple occasions, sit my friends down and tell them, from the bottom of my heart, that I do care about them, their lives, their work, and what they have to say. I do!
I’m just ADD and sadly, I need them to ask the necessary question:
Rebekah, are you listening?
REBEKAH KOONTZ!!! If you’re not listening, so help me…
Preferably, I need them to ask me that while we sit in a plain-walled room, with white noise buzzing, and absolutely no activity around to distract me. Also, they need to make sure I’m keeping eye contact AND actively responding to what they are saying.
Because I’m ADD and I can’t be trusted, guys.
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