I am not what they would call a tall drink of water. I’m more of a … shot glass.
5’2. Tiny feet. Loud voice. You know, the typical symptoms of nearing-dwarfism.
I’d be Grumpy.
If you didn’t know, here are seven signs that you are legitimately a short person. If you have all of these, drag up a step-stool and join the club, friend!
1. Your feet dangle from the toilet, so much so that your legs fall asleep.
Try explaining why you are suddenly limping whilst leaving the bathroom.
Like, what battle did you just escape from?
2. Your family and friends can’t squeeze behind the wheel of your car without adjusting the seat back.
And then you get back in and are miles away from the pedals.
3. You have a step stool at the ready. And I mean, you’re always ready.
4. You can keep up with your friend’s wit, but not with their freak-long giraffe strides.
Also if you’re wearing heels, all bets are off.
5. You can honestly say you have left items behind in the store because you couldn’t reach them, and there was no shop person to help you.
6. However, in some stores, you’re an excellent shelf climber.
7. You have no idea what is in the cabinet above the fridge.
It could be Narnia. One million dollars. Or the secret to happiness. You don’t know.
8. But really. It’s a wonder you can get any cooking done at all.
9. Let’s be honest about one thing: until you’ve read these past eight points, you felt tall— but that’s because, in hindsight, you’ll realize you’re continually standing whilst talking to a seated person.
So not only are you short, you have short people syndrome as well. Congratulations.
But don’t let your size get you down.
Short people are the spice of life! (The kind of spice that comes in the smaller shaker bottles, obviously.) We’re tiny but mighty, small but ferocious, and we have that special skill that means we can size up a piece of furniture in a glance and know whether or not it can securely handle our body weight if we were ever in need of an extra lift.
Embrace your size.
And maybe invest in a step-stool/ladder/tall boyfriend/platform heels.
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