Writers are faced with many challenges. What topic? Word count? Grammatical errors? Should this go on my lifestyle blog or autobiography? What the heck am I going to write about today?

Was my last post more depressing than humorous? 

But the biggest challenge of all is finding time to write, to consult the muse, and tap at that keyboard. Here are some tips of the trade.

1. Be rude to everyone.

2. Quit your job. Who needs money anyways?

3. Never sleep, only caffeine.

4. Make no friends.

5. Ignore everyone.

6. Lock yourself in a closet with nothing but your laptop and an empty bottle for pee.

7. Fake your death.

8. Invent a time stopper—or move so fast everything else stands still.

9. Start anew in a strange city with a fake identity and a new dog.

10. Pull a Castaway and live on a deserted island where there are no distractions.

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Us, writers, are basically insane.

Out of nothing, we create and spawn an unceasing flow of stories, blog posts, plot outlines, character traits, and humorous observances on the weekly, daily, hourly. And then we have to block out our lives, neglect our kids, not clean the bathroom, ignore the smell of smoke—just lower our heads and write.

Miracle workers are what we are. Insane, but miracle workers. Don’t tell me God isn’t real. 

Every piece of literature you read is an imaginative, jaw-dropping, time-defying marvel. Why?

Because it’s basically impossible to find time to write.

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