How To Get Over Heartbreak


It’s sad when things end.

An empty box of Cheez-Its. The last episode of your favorite vampire-romance TV show. The conclusion of love month. The end of a relationship.

We mourn and cry and remember the good times we had. But no amount of tears will bring back those precious cheesy-salty-crackery moments you had together. You can’t relive the awestruck shock over your TV love’s heroic sacrifice. You can’t go back in time. Soon, you’ll have to move on.

How To Get Over Heartbreak

1. Wallow.


2. Discover that song that is “what I’m totally feeling right now. I’m serious. This singer GETS me on a deeper level than even I thought possible.”

Misery loves company. And no one knows misery like multimillionaire pop star/country singers.


3. Listen to more sad songs.


4. Eat something healthy. Even if you don’t finish it, feel better for trying.


5. Write an angry letter you never send.


6. Get space though you don’t want it.


7. Clean up, whether that means a fresh change of sweatpants or combing your hair for the first time this week. Follow your heart.


8. Brush the crumbs off your chest and find value in yourself again—without that (full) box of Cheez-Its or TV show or that person to tell you they love you.


9. Relapse a lot. If what you felt was real, it will take a few tries and that’s okay.


10. Continue to live your life, repeating variations of steps 1-9 until it gets easier, time takes its toll, your memory and emotions fade, and you’re able to find peace and happiness in the One who lasts the test of time.

Serious moment. God is the only one who will make you feel whole forever. Junk food is only temporary—unless it goes to your hips.


It’s sad to feel sad. When you’re going through a heartbreak, you may want to stay miserable just to have a connection to what/who you loved.

But the time to move on will come. After your fourth public meltdown and your sick days off work run out, you’ll get yourself up and moving. You’ll notice the world continuing to spin (the audacity of it). Your true friends will strengthen you. They won’t judge the number of times you texted him or drove teary-eyed by his house.

You’ll find a new box of cheese crackers to love. Family members will recommend upcoming TV shows you may enjoy. And Love Month won’t sound so unbearable.

It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll be stronger in the end.

Dude, I’m really craving Cheez-Its now.


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