The art of chivalry is dying. BUT I REFUSE TO LET IT DIE.
It’s not weak to let a man be sweet to you. And you’re not a chump if you care.
Ladies like gentlemen. When a man is a gentleman, he’s immediately more handsome, more trustworthy, more respected, and more endeared. He is our prince charming, our night in shining armor, our hero.
But how do I become a gentleman, Rebekah?
I’m glad you asked, Bob. Here is your guide to being a gentleman.
1. Hold that door.
I will say this: If a girl has a feminist tantrum because you held the door open, leave her, walk through it yourself, and moove on.
However, most girls aren’t accustomed to these kind of niceties and you may have to gently
tackle, shove, fight move them aside to get to the door first. But the flood of cute smiles and sweet “Thank you”s you’ll receive for your act of gallantry will make it all worthwhile.
PRO TIP: This works with car doors, too. And is way more effective.
2. Giving/helping with her coat.
There’s old fashioned romanticism to a man wrapping his coat around a shivering damsel or helping her into her own jacket. Believe me, this one has magical powers.
If you’re feeling bold, after she’s shrugged on the jacket, you can help GENTLY tug her hair out. GENTLY.
PRO TIP: Try not to complain of being cold after giving her your jacket. Ruins the whole effect.
3. Killing bugs.
Do you want to be a gentleman and a hero?
KILL THE BEAST.
4. Pulling out her chair.
PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT IF YOU CANNOT PROPERLY EXECUTE.
I understand you are and will always be a boy. If you’re close to this girl, the temptation MAY arise that you’ll want to pull the chair out from underneath her and laugh as she smacks her butt on the floor, because won’t that be oh so funny.
THIS WILL NOT END WELL FOR YOU.
5. Giving up your chair to women and elderly.
Being a gentleman is more than showing that special girl you care, it’s a display of selflessness, strength, and moral character.
6. Carrying heavy things.
Women have this uncontrollable need to carry everything they own around with them at all times. (We also hate taking extra trips.)
I know it’s our own fault for getting ourselves in this situation, but if you see a woman with too many extra items, or something she seems to be struggling with, offer to help.
7. Pushing open the little swinging door of the trash bin.
I hate touching the little swingy door on the trashcan. It’s horrid. It’s sticky. It’s splattered with invisible bacteria of Lord-knows-what. The little swingy door was made by a malicious man with a vendetta against germaphobes. Curse thee, you petri dish of a little swingy door!
Dear Gentleman, Bob, sir, please hold that open for me with your finger so I can dump out any trash I may have without that touching me. I understand I may need biblical counseling. But if you could please do this for me, I would be forever grateful. Thank you.
8. Use pleasant language.
Profanity or crude words are never the sign of a gentleman. Try ma’am or miss. And articulate. As the old proverb goes, a man who articulates is one to be desired.
Yes, Bob, I did just make that up.
9. Walk with her, not ahead of her.
Too often do you see a man and a woman walking “together”—meaning he’s left her a mile and a half behind as she hobbles across the parking lot alone in her platform heels.
Women have shorter legs. Women wear precarious shoes. It may make you want to claw your eyes out, but the gentlemanly thing to do is walk with her.
10. Dress nice.
I purposely left this one for last because being a gentleman is about chivalry and moral man-code. It’s not specifically about how you dress, but how you act.
That being said, dressing well and looking sharp is definitely an ingredient to the gentleman cocktail.
So there is my ten point guide to being a gentleman! Did I leave anything out?
Out of ten, how much of a gentleman are you?
Now on Snapchat! RebekahKoontz