I Fail As An Adult

I fail as an adult humor post

I just turned 21 years old.

I’m a big girl now.

Yet, I’m constantly faced with moments when I realize I’m not adulting to maximum capacity. 

Or those times that I forget I am a functioning adult because of the long list of things I fail at doing—a list other, adultier adults accomplish on a regular day basis.

#1. I hate picking up the phone.

ignore

#2. I make faces when I eat gross things.

It’s bad. I’m a terrible dinner guest.

grossed out

#3. I hide from solicitors.

It’s like a game.

hiding 2

#4. I get excited about dessert.

I have no shame.

dessert excited

#5. I don’t listen to pertinent instruction.

I’ll nod and nod and nod. Then, the person will leave, and I’ll have no recollection of what they were telling me to do.

nodding not listening

#6. I’ll buy a cute mug in an instant, but I’ll seriously consider spending that extra 25c on toothpaste.

cost and worth

#7. Sometimes, I treat showers as work. Lots and lots of work. And then I don’t want to take one.

honest

#8. I know nothing about the world around me.

I hate myself for it. I am not up to date on current events. I don’t keep up with politics.  I wish I could be Holly Golightly and visit an old friend who gives me “the weather report” every week. Then, I can spend the rest of my time just being fabulous.

holly golightly

#9. I hear “stupid” and think …

bad word

#10. I can’t sit correctly in a chair. Any chair.

I either sit on my legs. Or on one foot. Or with my feet slung up over the desk and I’ll swivel my bottom in the chair. Some days, you’ll find me like this kid.

upside down

#11. I misspell the randomest words like matrice/mattress and sandwitch/sandwich and ??/seizure.

It’s embarrassing.

facepalm

 

I wonder if I’ll ever hit that point where I consider myself a true adult.

I still view myself as an awkward thirteen-year-old, wearing a lime green polo shirt and capris, reading alone in a corner of the room. And then, I catch a glimpse of myself in a passing reflection and think “wow, when did you grow up?” It’s as if someone pressed fast-foreward on my life. Now I’m driving, teaching little kids, and managing herds of adults. It’s a trippy feeling.

Maybe I’m adultier than I think.

 

 

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14 thoughts on “I Fail As An Adult”

  1. Hey! There is NO shame in playing cops and robbers in a skirt and brand new shoes! Who cares about your hair?! All that matters is that YOUR TEAM WON!! 😀 Almost…

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  2. I sometimes believe we might be the same person. Literally, HOW DO PEOPLE SIT WITH THEIR FEET ON THE FLOOR!? It is so uncomfortable. I always sit with my knees up b/c comfort. And don’t ever make me answer the phone. Awkwaaaaard.

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  3. You’re posts are always so funny!! Lmao I can’t sit still in a chair either, I’ve sat in meetings with my knees crossed before 😂

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  6. This made me laugh because – as a 30 something I STILL make those mistakes. I made a similar post about when you realize that you’re an adult a while back, but this was so amusing. I think the can’t sit in a chair was the one that made me snort out loud. Thanks for that I totally needed a good laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

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