Here’s the truth, people of the world. Young and old. Old and new. Those boring and those who smell good. Dog lovers and murderers of fake plants… I have ideas. I have time.

I have writers block.

It’s a block. Seriously. A BLOCK. It’s a block like my lack of spending money during a clearance sale. It’s a block like an empty box of Oreos. It’s a block like the amount of rings I can wear on one hand, while rifling through my purse for that long lost mint.

I know I need to post something. I know you want to read something. I know, I know, I know.

I just gave myself a headache.

*sneaks a sip from a stranger’s water bottle and returns*

The way to break a block is to flush it out. (Or dissolve it, but I, with my flower-child, sweet attitude, revert to violence as the first resort, so yes. FLUSH THE DARN THING! OUT! OUT! OUT!) Hence, the cure to what ails me is not to get 8 hours of sleep or consume caffeinated drinks until my head explodes. I need to publish something. Anything. So Rebekah, stop being so picky. You’re annoying me.

With that said, here is a list of random thoughts I’m about to have in the next five minutes. Set to bullet points because I’m fancy. Enjoy.

• I honestly have a headache. When did I become such an emotionally affected human being? I used to be a 5 foot stone of stoic… marshmallow fluff.
• I wore shorts yesterday for THE FIRST TIME THIS YEAR. I forgot I had legs. They’re as white and short as I remember.
• I’m very into straws lately. Or sissy sippers, as my dad calls them. But I don’t care. Straws are the best. I kind of want to be the ambassador of straws.
• I’ve suddenly become very aware of my never-ending reservoir of sarcastic remarks—and the fact that some people don’t appreciate them.
• MY REACTION TO THIS NEWS:

• I’m going to be 21 next month. I’m going to have rum cake for the first time, with icing. A little party. I’ll be responsible, though. Promise. Someone else will drive.
• I’m in love with my new iPhone 6s plus. It’s huge and gold and [insert all the heart-eye emojis here] 😍😍😍.
• I rather be reading right now… I guess that’s more of a confession.
• I did the math and I will be done with my Medical Transcription study by May. *thumbs up*
• My jeans have bleached stars on them.
• It has occurred to me that my life in its (not as sad as it sounds) entirety is a huge waiting game. Waiting to be certified. Waiting to be a real grown up. Waiting to finish my novel. Whenever someone asks me about things, my answer is “time will tell.”

So I’m just wondering if I can make that my official title: REBEKAH KOONTZ, TIME WILL TELL.

Has a nice ring to it.

But then, if I had to pick between that or “your grace,” I’d pick the latter.

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