Thanksgiving is exactly one week away. I suggest we all begin dieting now so we won’t feel guilty after eating the entire pumpkin pie and blaming it on the dog.

Don’t lie. You would stoop to such measures if it was a really good pumpkin pie.

All families are different. Traditionally, siblings and uncles and cousins and parents take turns around the dinner table, smiling warmly and sharing what they’re most thankful for. So, if you’re stressing (or can’t think of anything creative enough) to say on your turn, I’ve got you covered.

#1. Heaters.

Simple. Minimalistic. Practical.

“Wintertime” seems to have officially hit here in California, and the Californians are losing their minds. Yes. Heaters are very important, and warm showers, and slipper socks. Anything to combat this 50°F Siberian weather. Brrrr.

#2. Tissues.

This is an excellent choice if you’ve been sick and sniffling and you’re caught off-guard by the sudden, “so what are you thankful for?” directed to you.

Finish choking on your dinner roll and play the Sick Card. Do it! You have the entire medicine cabinet at your disposal. Choose any of your favorite nonalcoholic cough syrups and let the sympathy begin.

Poor you, sick on Thanksgiving. Tsk… Have another slice of pie, sweetheart.

#3. Your country.

This one can be tricky but very effective, if delivered properly.

You have to be the right person. For example, I’m a Jokeaholic. I am not the right person. I may come across as disrespectful or poking fun. I can’t pull this off, no matter how sincere I feel.

However, if you’re the kind of person who can stand up and preach—life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness! If, at the end of your turn, your family is standing, hand on heart, and belting “land of the free and the home of the brave!” If grandma cries and grandpa salutes the flag, you, my friend, are a Thanksgiving Hero.

#4. Coffee.

Because it’s coffee.

#5. Onesies.

Might I add, this is an excellent way to hint for a Christmas gift.

It may even make the fact that you are wearing a onesie to Thanksgiving dinner socially acceptable.

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What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? I’d like to know!

I’m thankful for God, Chris, my family, our house, and this blog.

*quiet moment as we exchange sappy little grins*

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