Thoughts I Have Before Falling Asleep

The fan whirs quietly in the dark room. I hear the puppy snoring and pray to God that dog stays quiet for the rest of the night—because I need my sleep. It’s time to sleep. I close my eyes. Then open my eyes.

Right, I should be sleeping. I forgot.

I close my eyes again. I think about sleeping. I imagine myself sleeping. I’m jealous of the imagination of myself sleeping. I look so peaceful.

Then a thought pops to mind, and another. Strange thoughts, but great ones. Some even ingenious ones.

These are the thoughts I have before falling asleep.

1. I should read more. It improves mental stimulation and imagination. I should work on my imagination. I don’t want to grow up to be dull.

 2. Am I a dull person?

3. . . .

4. Oh, should’ve brushed my hair before bed. . . Too late now.

5. I should listen to more music. Music is good for the mind. .

6. Did I brush my teeth?

7. Must focus on saving money this week.

8. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and do fifty crunches. Ugh, so scary. I barely fit into my jeans today. YOU’RE GOING DOWN LITTLE POOTCHY! 

9. If I were Katniss, would I choose Gale or Peta?

9.5. What do those guys see in her anyways?

10. I should write a song. I’d love to write a song. 

11. The cupboard under the bathroom sink. . . I really should sort through that tomorrow.

12. Maybe I should be more minimalistic?

13. From now on, I’ll avoid the makeup isle. I’ll enter from produce. It’ll be easy.

14. Lemon bars sound really good right now.

15. I’m hungry. Should I eat? Wait, no. . They say it’s bad to eat before bed. Causes cancer or something. Maybe my body will eat my poochy, then I won’t have to do crunches tomorrow. 

Uh oh. Dog’s awake. Lie. Very. Still.

Then the scratching starts, followed by whining and biting at the gate of her dog crate until I make an effort to sit up in bed.

“DUMB DOG! I WAS SLEEPING!!” I’ll hiss.

She’ll reply by wagging her tail and scratching the crate more. We’ll go outside. She’ll potty. Then we’ll both settle back into bed, her in her dog crate, me looking at the ceiling.

Then the thoughts will start again.

What am I going to eat for breakfast?

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