Every year, my dad’s work sends him out on a three day conference. Every year, my family will then tag along so we can stay at the hotel all day and watch TV and go to the pool and use the Wifi to our heart’s content.
This year, I stayed home.
On Sunday, I went to church by myself and went to choir practice and evening service alone. My worship leader saw me sitting in a front pew, “so you’re home alone, huh Rebekah? Do you have a really big bat?”
“Nah,” I said nonchalantly, “but I have two little dogs.”
I could tell my comment didn’t settle in by the fact that he smiled and seemed to generally relax at the news. He began to walk away, then he stopped. “Little?!”
I smiled. “Watch out!”
But yeah. I’m alone.
One of my friends asked me if I get lonely easily. The truth is I don’t. Especially because I have so many things to do, I don’t feel as if I’m alone.
These couple days have been really revealing to me. Mostly, I’m testing myself to see how I would survive once I get my own crummy apartment somewhere.
My biggest questions are: will I survive not having family around? And, would I have a complete freak out or stay level headed if I get scared?
On that note, last night, I was turning off lights and locking doors. Sometimes air gets released from our water cooler into the three-gallon bottle above it and makes a deep water-explosion sound. I heard it in the pitch black silence of last night and almost dropped my dog. It startled me so badly.
Even when my family is home, though, I tend to be alone, shut up in my room. I feel bad because I don’t want them to think I don’t want to be with them. It’s just that all my work and hobbies require a distraction-free zone.
And some people in my family can’t not talk.
I realize I’ve been more relaxed, and that sounds horrible. But the reason is I don’t have to FOCUS so much on my work if they’re gone. I simply do it. It’s not, don’t listen to the conversation in the kitchen. Don’t try to figure out what they’re watching on TV by hearing the opening song. . It’s, sit down and do it. Done. It’s less stressful that way.
I’m sure I can’t judge how well I’ll live on my own by only having these couple days to myself. This is more like vacation, and who doesn’t love vacation?
I watch all the TV shows on Netflix I want to watch, as much as I want to watch. I don’t have to worry about mixed company (let’s be honest, some shows should only be for girls), and I don’t have anyone groaning, “another one?”
So far, I’ve seen the first few seconds of Orange Is The New Black (NO. Just no. So not appropriate for anyone. I’m going to try to block it from our Netflix). A few minutes of How I Met Your Mother, and I got bored. (Sorry.) But I found my new favorite show to be addicted to.
I love Jess’ personality and how all the roommates take care of her like big brothers. I only have brother’s so maybe I relate, I’m not sure. I just think they’re really cute feel-good episodes. However, at the same time I wouldn’t let my little brother see them because there are sexual innuendos and such. Take it with a grain of salt. I just like it, and it’s significantly less dramatic compared to Gossip Girl, which has been another one of my Netflix guilty pleasures.
Wow, I’m laying it all out on the table right now, aren’t I?
While we’re at it, let’s talk about food.
Food will – by far – be my biggest struggle when I live alone.
First, I will forget to eat, then I’m too lazy to make myself something so I end up eating Top Ramen and cereal and frozen pizzas. Lots and lots of frozen pizzas.
I love pizza.
And then when I finally do eat, I won’t stop. Sunday afternoon, I had pizza, then dipped pretzels in nutella for dessert. Then made myself a cup of overly sweet raspberry iced tea from powder. Then I really wanted a fruit by the foot. But I was full. But I could have a few bites then save the rest. I ended up eating the whole thing. This kind of occurrence will happen at every meal.
So home alone? I will either be uber responsible and take advantage of a quiet house to get things done, or I will NOT move from my personalized indent on the couch and watch New Girl over and over and over again while eating nutella and wrestling a carton of fishy crackers until it opens. (True story.)
There doesn’t seem to be an in-between when it comes to responsible or Netflix crazed.
Thus is my life at the moment.
And I totally had chocolate chip cookies and milk for breakfast.