The alarm rings, whatever the sound is. Maybe it buzzes like a bird deranged. Maybe it’s a calm beep-boop tune. Maybe it’s the radio.
Whatever the case, you have two choices; hit snooze, or roll over and ignore it.
Let’s be honest. Actually getting out of bed is not one of the choices you’re considering.
Somehow, the bed that felt like a plank before has morphed into a fluffy marshmallow, sinking you into comfort and soft wonderful dreams. The light streaming into your window that was unceasing last night in your struggle for Zzz’s is now so easily shut out by a blanket over your face.
You’re going to stretch soon and attempt to wake up, you tell yourself. You’ll go to the kitchen and brew some coffee. You’re going to go take a shower and soon you’ll be wide awake.
These are all good plans until morning sounds wake you from your stupor, or maybe the sudden rush of panic, and you realize how late you are in starting your day.
Alarm clocks are annoying. Who likes alarm clocks? No one.
Since I was little, I’ve had the superhuman capabilities of sleeping in until 1pm. My parents were very much aware of this. So I’ve gone through quite a few alarm clocks in my time.
The earliest I remember was a two-and-a-half inch mini black alarm clock with a soft beep-beep-beep tone. My intentions were good. I’d put it by my head so I’d be able to hear it. But it was too easy to thrust under my pillow to asphyxiate the noise.
I never hit snooze buttons. Snooze buttons, to me, seal my fate for never waking up. No. I just find ways to ignore them. Or I turn the alarm off completely.
For example, the clock I’ve never hated more was a shiny silver analog clock, with a four inch stem, like a skinny neck, attached to a base. Oh, my rage still flames at the thought of it. It was so smug and horrible. The alarm matched that of a school bell. Constant. High pitched. Bang-bang-bang style of ringing as the little hammer hit the bell inside the machine. It’d scare the heck out of me, I’d turn it off angrily, and out of complete and total rebellion, I would crawl right into bed and fall asleep.
If an alarm is that annoying, I’d wake up in a horrible mood and that would effect me for the rest of the day.
My next alarm I described as my blind alarm clock. It would “DI-DING SEVEN O’ THREE AM. DI-DING SEVEN O’ THREE AM” so I wouldn’t have to open my eyes to remember what time it was and why I was crazy enough to wake up at that time. It worked pretty well. I even changed it to a “COCKADOODLE DOO!” which was fitting when we lived on a ranch. Even when I hit the snooze on that one, it would scream at me what the current time was. The biggest problem with that one was the same pillow smothering to keep the sound out.
Then, for a period, I simply did the I-hear-mom’s-steps-on-the-carpet-so-I-gotta-quickly-sit-up-and-pretend-I’ve-been-awake-all-this-time technique. I got pretty good at that. I didn’t like my parents waking me up for the same reason I hated the silver alarm clock. I didn’t wanted to be bossed around the SECOND I woke up. That was not the way I liked to start a day.
Fast forwarding to nowadays, when I have no choice sometimes but to get up, I have my ways. What works best for me is to set, not one, but multiple alarms. I have my radio clock ready. A few minutes after that I have my phone alarm ready. A few minutes after that I have ANOTHER phone alarm ready.
Why do I do this? Do I seriously have no self control to wake up on the first alarm? Um, yes. But also, I just don’t hear them half the time.
Somehow, I went a week with my six-thirty-am radio alarm on and didn’t hear it for four days. On the fourth day, I thought I heard voices, then music, and was surprised my alarm had set itself for seven o’clock. Then I realized it had been set since Sunday, and somehow I hadn’t heard it until then.
I had by then trained myself to never listen to people talking or music, and to sleep through it.
I don’t sleep through my phone alarm. It’s a gentle beep-boop sound. However, it is easy for me to wake up, acknowledge it’s only my phone ringing, and fall back asleep to it. Or, I viciously tap the screen until I do something that stops the music. That’s when the second alarm comes in.
The struggle IS REAL.
I’m not sure if I’m the only one who has these struggles. If I love sleep maybe too much. But I’m not a morning person, it’s as simple as that. And I’ve never been a morning person.
If you feel my pain, let me know in the comments (all you need is an email address) what system you use to wake up in the morning, or, even better, if you have some funny stories to tell about it.
For example, my mother would try to pull our pants off if we wouldn’t wake up. True story. She would take them with her. And if we got cold and tried to cover up with a blanket, the blanket would be pulled off the bed too.
She was very convincing as an alarm clock.