I’ve been boycotting Facebook since the time of MySpace. As older people would say, “oh I just gave away my age..”

I think I’ll share a post I wrote back on my first blog about being Face-less. I thought it was a clever title until I heard a song on AirOne that had the same name.

Back to Facebook. You wouldn’t think that by me simply making a Facebook page, I could come away with a story long enough for a blog post.

Oh. Ohhh. Contrair.

Keep in mind that I’m obviously not tech savvy. And no it didn’t take me five minutes to make the darn page! Here’s the story.

First, I had to make an account. Okay. I signed up. Done. I made an account. But I made a personal account. I saw somewhere else a button to make a “page,” I knew enough that that was what I wanted. I clicked on that, and it began with all these questions about my professional self. Am I a celebrity, bakery, writer? What’s my name? Do I agree that I am the sole founder of this corporation? Am I a real famous person?

I stopped.

Am I a real famous person? What’s that supposed to mean? If anything I felt the sting.

No Facebook. I’m not famous. . . That was a mean thing to say. .

I clicked “yes.” (Hey, I’m looking toward the future!)

Soon I had a Facebook profile (Rebekah Koontz) and a Facebook page (Rebekah E Koontz), and I was totally confused. I wanted to delete the profile. I didn’t need it. Also, I was over thinking the “E.” I don’t remember when I dropped the “E” from my name. If I had to choose, it would’ve been forty more minutes of me contemplating, however my Twitter and Instagram are RebekahKoontz, so I figured I should stay that way.

I’m that one in a hundred people who use HELP on Facebook. I haven’t had one since the sixth grade, I don’t understand ANY of it. On help, I found a question that said “turn your Facebook profile into a Facebook page.”

That sounded great! My profile was already “Rebekah Koontz” and that’s what I wanted. And I didn’t need the profile anyways.

I did that. Then I had two pages, and spent twenty minutes confusing myself, until I realized the fact. I deleted the Rebekah E Koontz page. Now I was finishing up my new page. I struggled to get the profile picture to fit. Threw in a cover photo. Added my Twitter and Instagram. I was finally done. Now I wanted to see what it looked like to everyone else. It took me forever to find my URL/”username,” and when I did, I saw it said “RebekahEKoontz.”

Hm.

Click here to change your username.

I clicked. It had me type the username I wanted into the slot, it said it was available, I hit ACTIVATE. And nothing. A “loading…” screen was up for minutes. I went back to HELP. A lot of people were having the same problem changing theirs.

Fine. So I couldn’t change it. I went back, deleted the page, and tried again, using that username from the beginning. Nope. Furthermore, Facebook told me to “slow down” before they locked me out of my account.

I was getting frustrated. I thought that maybe because I made the profile originally, I had taken the username away from myself. But I already deleted the profile. That couldn’t be it.

Forty minutes after that, I had a hunch to search the URL http://www.facebook.com/RebekahKoontz to see if it actually did exist, even though Facebook was saying it was available.

Sure enough, some no-faced wannabe-me had the same profile. But it was empty. I was thinking there was a possibility that it was a private profile. Then a new thought hit me.

I logged out. Then I logged in with my old-old first email ever and a password that I magically remembered.

Boom. I signed in.

Turns out, I didn’t totally delete my first Facebook page after all. Well I wasn’t going to leave something unfinished! Feeling confident, I went straight for the PERMANENTLY Delete This Page selection, then hesitated, hovering my pointer over it.

On the right column was a list of people I had apparently befriended back then. Some of them looked familiar. Changing your profile to a page will only move your friends into your followers, you lose everything else. That’s what Facebook HELP said.

So I had a bunch of old friends just floating there, waiting to follow me. We could even reconnect and that would be fun. Also, if I did delete it, who knows how long it would take for Facebook to let me have the username. I convinced myself. So instead of deleting it, I went to the change profile to page button. Then a screen popped up.

YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ON FACEBOOK IN A LONG TIME. PLEASE VERIFY YOU ARE WHO YOU SAY YOU ARE. PLEASE SEND US A PICTURE OF YOUR ID.

This is usually where people would give up. But I get so stubborn that after investing FOUR hours on this thing, I was NOT going to give up without a Facebook page!

I took a picture of my ID, using little scraps of paper to hide the important stuff. And sent it in. I thought that was it. I was forced to do the waiting game. However, I got a email right away with a link on how to get back into my (now locked) account.

CHOOSE ONE TO VERIFY YOUR ACCOUNT: 1. Send a code to my email. 2. Use my email to sign in.

I thought it was a piece of cake! Send the code! Then I hurried on over to my old Yahoo! page and logged in. .

YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ON YOUR ACCOUNT IN A LONG PERIOD OF TIME. FOR THIS REASON WE HAVE CLOSED YOUR ACCOUNT. CLICK HERE TO CREATE A NEW ONE.

You think that stopped me? I clicked “here.” Went on, and created an account with the same exact name.

WE’RE SORRY THAT NAME IS ALREADY TAKEN, PLEASE TRY AGAIN.

Great, some poor soul who likes convertibles has been getting Facebook emails non stop. Now THEY’RE probably hacking into my Facebook….

… *quiet for the longest time* …

You can find me on Facebook, using the URL www.facebook.com/RebekahEKoontz.

Do me a favor, don’t forget the “E.”