I haven’t written in a few weeks because I’ve been trying to make a decision about something, and then deal with the decision I made.

After a lot of thought, asking my parents’ advice, and venting on the phone to best friends, I’ve decided.

I’ll probably be losing my job.

My older brother will be shipping out for the year (or more) soon. Because of the government shut down, there really isn’t time to get him to fly all the way back here and then fly back during the little bit of “spring break” he has left. So we’re going to him.

If we don’t waste any time, it would take us approximately three weeks to drive from California to New York.

I brought it up with my boss and the general response was, “we can’t hold your position for that long. .”

This is where all the decision making came in.

It was hard. I mean, it may not sound like much, but I worked hard to find a job and stressed myself out, big time. I was about to quit when God gave this one to me.  It’s hard to think that I’ll have to start all over again.

I hate resumes and interviews and getting dressed up, with the constant possibility of another rejection hanging in the air and the thought that it was all for naught.

It was my dad who “convinced me,” I guess you can say, though it was my decision. He kind of talked about “when will you have another chance to do something like this in life? And with your mom and brother?” When will I have the luxury of not having car payments, debts, or a mortgage hanging over my head to the point where I can’t afford to lose my job?

Probably never. . And there will always be another job. I’ll have a job the rest of my life from this point, to be honest.

It’s kind of the trip of a lifetime. And not seeing my brother is obviously out of the question.

I asked to speak to my boss and manager before I started my shift a few weeks ago. I sat down with them and gave them my spiel. I was honest in how hard the decision was, made sure they understood it isn’t a “road trip holiday!”, but the last time to see my brother before he leaves, and I apologized for the position it put them in. My biggest goal was to leave my first job on a good note.

These people constantly show how much of a blessing they are. My boss just shrugged, “I have no hard feelings.” She looked at my manager. “Do you?”

My manager shook her head and kind of chuckled, “I would go.”

My boss even agreed, she would go too.

They also said I’ve been a good employee and of course I could use them as a reference.

So the trip planning begins. . . And of course the little bouts of doubt I’ll have every now and then where I go, “I made the right decision. . .right??”