Here’s a confession of mine: I am not a phone-caller.

My mind goes blank. I feel like my mouth is stuffed with marbles. I can’t create concrete sentences. I have no idea if I’m making my point – nor if I sound intelligent.

I just hate making phone calls.

Unless you’re a friend I’m really comfortable around, or needs me, or some other small variable, I just rather you text. Plain and simple. I’m a great e-mailer too.

Something funny, I can call in a business sense. I’ve done phone banking for campaigns and such. We have scripts and a never-ending list of numbers. I’m sure if I worked somewhere, I’d be fine. It’s all the same, helping a customer, over the phone or in person. But that’s different than me making the call. In that instance, it’s not me, it’s an employee. You understand the difference?

There’s quite a bit of phone-calling required in this job-searching process. It’s horrible. Life would be so much easier if it was just, TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: Approximately how soon would I hear back? [Like how I used “approximately”? That’s a business word. *proud grin*] TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: I got an e-mail saying I’m not being “further pursued for candidacy”. But. Whyyyy?? TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: I heard you haven’t even seen my application. Then why’d I get the e-mail? TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: Hello? TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: You there?? TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: . . Are you ignoring me?? TO GRACIOUS EMPLOYER: Well that’s very mature. .

Okay, I’m joking about the last texts. I just think it’d save time and energy to be zapped back texts. Don’t you? I mean it just makes sense. Instead of having to go through the steps.

Finding the phone number.Taking a wild guess at which one to call. Psyching yourself up for the call. Calling and having to be transferred (or voice mail. I HATE voice mail. That’s just PERMANENT EVIDENCE of what stupidities you’ve mumbled into the receiver). Then trying desperately to watch your words while you’re speaking with that person. Then not being sure when or how to say goodbye without sounding rude. Then spending time staring at a wall, regrouping afterwards, and trying to figure out exactly how many things you should regret doing or saying in that 15 minute time span. It’s exhausting.

Again, I suggest the text idea.

You probably find this ridiculous. I can’t help wondering if there’s anyone out there like me, or if you’re all rolling your eyes and mumbling “build a bridge and get over it.”. . . Hopefully you feel my pain, just a little.

You’ve probably guessed it: I need to make a phone call this afternoon.

I just need to think on the positive. A writer needs a job. I’ll reward myself with something afterwards. Yeah. Yeah. .