No. I just have that skill. 

     So, I have to tell you about this horrid breakfast I was able to put together one morning.

     We had sour dough bread. (Mmm) Butter. (Oh yeah.) Cheese. (Mouth watering!) And! Garlic salt. (Yum! Okay, I’ll stop being dramatic now.)

    I imagined creating warm, delectable, crunchy delicious garlic cheese bread. A perfect start to a perfect day.

   I started by smearing butter on both sides of two slices of bread and plopped them on a hot grill. I love the sizzle it makes. One of the best sounds in the world, in my opinion. Then, I sprinkled some garlic salt on them. I could practically see the garlicky crystals dissolving in the melted butter and exploding into flavor! I rubbed my hands together greedily. This was going to be so good!

   When the slices were toasted, I flipped them, adding cheese and a tiny bit more garlic salt. I could already taste it. I even exclaimed a couple “mmm MMM!”s

    Such a great breakfast deserved a great setting, so I sat at the breakfast nook with my two pieces of toast in front of me, folded my hands like a good little girl, prayed, and took a bite. Mmmm. The cheese was gooey. The toast crunchy. Another bite. Oh Rose, you’re a culinary genius.

    Strange, though. After a couple bites, it wasn’t so great anymore. I wiped my mouth with a napkin and  tilted the slice so all the grease would drain off. The toast was even a gray, greasy color all the way through. Garsh. This thing wasn’t only covered in grease, it was soaked through with it! Just looking at the second slice reminded me of a heart attack. My stomach turned, this was a bad idea. So. I did what any girl would do in that situation. I offered that second piece of toast to my brother. (Haha.)

     I’m not done with the story, though. Here’s the best part: my brother was on skype at the time I offered him the toast so he placed it next to his computer until he was done with his entire conversation and THEN he ate it! Can you imagine? *shudder*