Mannequins and their plot for revenge!! (Read at your own risk)

 *telephone rings. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP. Beep!*
     Oh, the dreaded department store, a place where thousands of people of all shapes and sizes come together to share one action in common for two hours. They have all come to… *shudder* shop. Why people find spending hundreds of dollars on two lousy pieces of clothing just to drive home and realize either a) the clothes doesn’t fit, or b) that it’s dry clean only is truly beyond me. And as these optimistic shoppers browse the shelves for something, ANYTHING to spend their money on, little do they know they are constantly being watched.

    Eyes are upon them from the second they enter to the first step out the exit door. Whose? Why, the conceited eyes of the mannequins, of course!…*clears throat* These models with their poise and beauty portray the look that you, the shopper, are evidently sure to succeed after spending half your year’s allowance (or paycheck) on a pair of beat up old jeans, about half a T-shirt, a belt, fedora, and (please don’t forget) shoes. Over the years, these overgrown dolls have been made to look more and more like regular human beings. They are given casual poses, hair, and facial expressions to show joy, pride, or even sorrow.

   The common customer may not think twice about why the mannequins are there in the store to begin with, but have you? If you were to study logic, you would know that mannequins are a form of propaganda called “transfer”. (And since not many people do study logic, I’ll explain) The store (or advertiser) wants you to transfer your feelings about one object to another. In this case, you transfer your feelings about the mannequin to the apparel worn. By now, you’re probably thinking, “I have no feelings toward the mannequin”. But if you have ever purchased an article of clothing because it just so happened to catch your eye on a massive puppet, then you have.

    Mannequins are usually tall, slim, and all together good-looking; are they not? And for some weird reason, we, the people with the ‘moola’, are given this idea that we will look just as good as the dolls do when we wear the same clothes. Then in the dressing room, to our shock and dismay we find that…we don’t. Why is that?! Because it doesn’t matter how hard sculptures try, they can’t make a figure that looks like an attractive human but is still realistic. Because we are made in God’s image and we are ALL different. Not all of us can be THAT physically fit and if we were life would be boring. We might as well choose our own spots at a JCPenny and and strike a pose!

     Yes, those dolls will still be there at Macy’s to point out how much better they look compared to us. But at least now, you will have a different mind-set the next time you spill your Starbucks and drop the latest sale items all over the floor for being freaked out that, that “person” isn’t a person at all! Also, another bonus in the end is we’re not the one’s called the “dummies”. =-)


*whispers* Forget what I just said and hear this!! The mannequins have taken over Kohl’s, are holding me and several others hostage, and they are developing a plan to take over department stores all over the world! Call everybody we gotta sto–*click. Dail tone. Beeeeep*

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